Fierce

End of the month.

I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't take the time to stop and smell the flowers. Which I really should do more often, by the way. :)

Nevertheless, it just can't be helped though when there are days when I feel like I'm being pulled into a vacuum void of any good emotion. Some days seem longer and more stressful than others. Work is more tedious and daunting at times. Life in general catches up on me and I struggle to keep up with it.

Thankfully, there are far more better days when I feel like I'm on top of the world and I am capable of anything at all. Sometimes, I feel like the richest, most wonderful, happiest person who ever lived... and having that disposition is simply blissful. I reckon everybody would want to feel that way all the time.

But then again, imagine walking a plateau all throughout life and never seeing much angle nor depth; no breath-taking plunges and heights. What a boring journey! It would be utterly devastating to experience the same things over and over again. We need the valleys to build our character and mountains to test our strength.

Besides, we might as well be in heaven if all we ever feel is perfect joy. However, we are not quite there yet. There are many more jungles to brave through and deep waters to fathom.

The way the world works - it never ceases to amaze me.

Deep in thought

I have been caught up in a very busy web of work, school, socio-civic activities, domestic duties, and serious life transitions this month that I could not quite find the time or energy to sit in front of my laptop and type away my sorrows and excitements. So as not to go over the edge of my sanity, I pursue time for a good night's sleep and moments of silence and solitude more than anything else lately.

To quote Katherine Whitehorn: "You cannot care about everything and stay sane. You cannot care about nothing and stay human." I empathize more with the first statement each day as I find my calling more and more evident but vague at the same time.

There are so many things and ideas running through my mind even as I share this, which amazes me because in spite of the strain I am currently feeling, my brain can still filter out what needs to be said and what needs to be silenced.

In 2008, I spent six months in the US practically without any gadget or form or technology except perhaps for the appliances in the house where I lived with my relatives. I had no mobile phone for calling or texting on regular basis except for the old beaten-up cellphone I had on roaming to get very short messages from my family from halfway around the world. I had my laptop but there was no internet connection (wireless or otherwise) so it was almost useless as a stand-alone computer save for viewing and tweaking photos I took during my stay. [Needless to say, I did not use it very much.] I only had my ever reliable point-and-shoot digital camera which became my constant companion everywhere I went...

...and, surprisingly, I liked it better that way than I thought I would.

Deep down inside of me, I have always dreamed of being in a time and place different from where I am in this lifetime. I think maybe all of us have wished for that at some point in our lives. Right now, I am beginning to feel a bit of technophobia creeping up on me which was probably just lying dormant in me all this time since those six months.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the many ways technology has helped us as a people. I am very much aware of how it has helped mankind move forward in small steps and in leaps and bounds. However, I feel as if the cycle of advancement is gaining too much momentum and is starting to have a life of its own - like a butterfly laying its egg and waiting for a new species to emerge. It scares me to think about it like that but the way I see it, it is us who have to keep up with technology instead of the other way around, otherwise, we are on the losing end.

Blogging on my online journal versus writing on my personal diary/scrapbook is like a war or worlds for me these past few months. My fingers itch to hold on to pen and paper more than a keyboard and a mouse each passing day. Sometimes, on worse days, I get this urge to run away from anything electronic.

I began blogging again in 2009 when I realized its potential to reach an audience who share the same thoughts and ideas that I have. I also realized that the cyberspace is a great avenue to make many people aware of important matters regarding faith, education, environment and so much more. On the other hand, being online is like finding myself in a room full of glass windows where I see everything all at once and it confuses me and overwhelms me. I recall my life before the internet and it is like finding myself in a room with different doors which entailed a certain air of mystery, a wonderful atmosphere of excitement wherein I take my time to go through one door, experience what is within, and go back and forth various doors if I needed to.

I've always had a thing with time - I need to take my time. So much of technology is the cause for a life lived on the fast lane with shallow breaths and I don't like it when I go into overdrive. It is when accidents happen - all sorts of accidents, which result to injury or even death. Metaphorically speaking, this can be injury to a part of one's self or death in being.

I do not want to feel the need for me to catch up with my writing; I need my writing to catch up with me.
I do not want to feel any of this 'technological advancement' take hold of me.
I need to actually live a life. We all do.

"He who breathes deepest lives most." 

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning -

Processing

A Chemistry laboratory class output during one of the experiments I had while I was an undergraduate student at UST College of Science.

There isn't a more painful and painstakingly long process in life than growing up.

Of all the things I can think of that could very well be compared to growing up, chromatography was the first to cross my mind today. Perhaps, I have been thinking too much about school lately besides other important things.

Chromatography (from Greek χρῶμα chroma "color" and γράφειν graphein "to write") is the collective term for a set of laboratory techniques for the separation of mixtures. It involves passing a mixture dissolved in a "mobile phase" through a stationary phase, which separates the analyte to be measured from other molecules in the mixture based on differential partitioning between the mobile and stationary phases. Subtle differences in a compound's partition coefficient result in differential retention on the stationary phase and thus changing the separation.

Chromatography may be preparative or analytical. The purpose of preparative chromatography is to separate the components of a mixture for further use (and is thus a form of purification). Analytical chromatography is done normally with smaller amounts of material and is for measuring the relative proportions of analytes in a mixture. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Column chromatography is a separation technique in which the stationary bed is within a tube. The particles of the solid stationary phase or the support coated with a liquid stationary phase may fill the whole inside volume of the tube (packed column) or be concentrated on or along the inside tube wall leaving an open, unrestricted path for the mobile phase in the middle part of the tube (open tubular column). Differences in rates of movement through the medium are calculated to different retention times of the sample.

I know it sounds nerdy but this complicated chemical process is, to me, similar to the complicated course of maturing. A mixture undergoes a series of laboratory techniques just like an individual endures many changes and transitions. It is in the grueling process where I feel the pain. Each year, I feel as if I am being stripped of a layer instead of being added one, which sounds a bit ironic considering that you are being added another 365 days of life, God-willing.

Anyway, I have this understanding that we already have what is essential within us even before we are born. Our encounter with everything in the environment only amplifies what is within us. We are all essentially pure.

However, we slowly become corrupted by the sin that has entered the world especially when we choose to fall victim to it. The mere thought of carrying a heavy burden makes us tired and rebellious. It seems as if every fiber of our body is furiously thrashing about in opposition. It is tormenting to do good things because they are often the most difficult things to do. On the contrary, it always feels so much lighter and easier to do what is wrong and to turn away from responsibility. In a world that values the flesh more than the spirit, the struggle to keep going down the narrow road is nerve-wrecking, heart-wrenching and energy-depleting.

Nevertheless, we need not fret for we have been loved with an everlasting love - and it is this very same love that will help us overcome the unbearable no matter how difficult and seemingly impossible. "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13: 6-7. The processing we are going through is out of love and if that is so, then may the fruit of the transformation is love. This is the only way the charcoal becomes a glittering diamond.

Love is the answer.
Loving one's struggles and forgiving one's self.

To quote from The Wonder Years, and American television series: "Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up."

Holidays are coming

The first sign of the coming Christmas season...

As the year is drawing to a close, I am getting busier and more exhausted everyday - more so as the weather changes drastically from hot to cold and cold to hot. Nevertheless, it has been a wonderful 314 days so far.

I can already feel the holidays.

My everyday scenario on my way home from work or graduate school.

Time and again

Live like there's no tomorrow...

I'm sure this statement has crossed your mind at one time or another or you might have heard it from someone or somewhere at some point in your life. I have been pondering on this statement for almost a week now and I am quite disturbed myself when I realized what it can mean if you really try to digest deeper into the words.

I have arrived at one conclusion that the earlier mentioned statement has probably been used and abused for the longest time that is why people who 'live like there's no tomorrow' literally never got to see the light of day again. I imagine that there's a pretty thin line between "seizing the day" and "living like there's no tomorrow" but still a line that one ought not to cross nevertheless. For me, carpe diem suggests making the most of your day while live like there's no tomorrow implies no boundaries, no limitations, no nothing whatsoever, which is a really dangerous hidden message.

We are already living in a world that's moving and changing quickly, I don't believe we need to add any more swiftness to the passing of time or to the loss of life. There's a practical and important reason why we only have 24 hours in a day. One day is not designed to capture in summary all of an individual's life events. What sense is there, then, in being given about a hundred-year lifespan if we only wanted to fit it all in one day?

If only...

Then again, if that was the case, we might as well all be in heaven as if the fall of man never came to pass - which is, of course, far-fetched wishful thinking.

As the new month comes tumbling in with constant rains and floods, and trials and tribulations, let us carry the cross we are made to bear with uprightness so that the Lord may delight in us.

The Art of Questioning

Is it easier to write about an idea when you are flooded with light or when you are enveloped in darkness? (I am, of course, speaking metaphorically.)

What is more moving: the absence or presence? Why?

What defines you?

Are you who you think you should be?

Is the idea of death at the back of your mind a good driving force in living your life?

Why do you do what you do?

What is the world to you?

Where do we find peace?

How do we fully achieve happiness?

Why do we question?

...because we get answers when we ask. We stumble upon new realizations in the whole process and art of questioning. We even have a reply to the query: "Why do some questions don't have answers?" which is simply because 'they are not meant to be answered by you or me at this time'.

So... What questions do you have?

Words of Wisdom

I need to constantly remind myself of who I am and what I am here for...

The calligraphy work above is made by a certain man named Brian Baker, whose work I just stumbled upon during my net browsing. :) Great job, sir!

WHOle

I feel that every person is born incomplete. I believe that there's a hole in every person's life that starts as a pinpoint which in time transforms into a deep, dark cavity of nothingness that can eventually eat a person's whole being.

Many people in today's society do not realize that they possess this certain gap within themselves. Often, these people go through life without really living. Most of them simply 'get by' or 'exist'. In spite of the seemingly normal lives these people have, they do not realize that they are already leading lives of quiet desperation - a silent attempt to end the asking of 'Why?'.

I was one of those people once. Thankfully, I have discovered the presence of this hole in my life many years ago and through God's grace, my spirit has opened up to the Lord - the only One who can fill the gap in me and make me whole. I am made complete in and by His love.

This past week, however, I have made an equally important discovery.

As I continue to live in this world, my human-ness tries many ways to go back to its old, sinful nature: rebellious, disobedient, and unsatisfied. Sometimes, I just can't help but ponder angrily on the fact that I can't stop thinking about the elusive 'Why?s', especially when my answers fall short. Well, recently, I have come to realize that although the hole has been filled, it keeps on expanding still and the only way to stop it from taking over me is allowing more of God to fill every part of me until I totally lose my life to Him before darkness overcomes me first. Never in my life has Mark 8:35 been clearer to me: "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it."

Life is short and it can only be lived once. Make sure you chose The Way, the right way.

P.S. Happy Mother's Day, Mama, and to all the wonderful moms out there. :)

Happy Hearts Day!

Be still, my heart.

Find Me

Today closes a full circle of a year that has passed since I came back from a half a year stay with my relatives in the United States. What a year it has been.

Before I left the country in June 2008, I told myself and certain close friends that the trip is going to be the opportunity for 'soul searching' I've always wanted to have. Since the path after college overwhelmingly branched out to so many different directions, I promised myself that I'd take a back road for a while and figure out where I'm headed for in life. I suddenly realized a few days post-graduation that twenty long years didn't seem that long after all. In fact, it passed by a little too quickly than I thought it would.

Six months in a looking glass away from home also flew by much like a breeze passing through a field. I knew I came back the same person but with broader perspectives, stronger convictions, better values, and deeper faith in God. However, the questions I have when I left still remained unanswered even after arriving back in the Philippines. My period of 'soul searching' was finished but I still haven't found what I've been looking for. At the time, I possibly felt more at a loss than ever.

As I began to re-adjust to life at home, I slowly found my place under the sun without being aware of it. It was like being given a second chance in life - a clean slate to start all over again. Now I've come to understand that 'soul searching' doesn't mean you have to isolate yourself to a far away place in order to have an epiphany. It means looking within... for wherever you go, there YOU are. You are the one thing you cannot escape from.

I have come to the conclusion that, indeed, "Home is where the heart is".

I couldn't be more thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to rediscover who I am and who I can be. Life is truly about the journey - going through every experience we face each day with much gusto. The destination is a bonus, an affirmation of what it took the sojourner to get there.

For almost eight months now, I am blessed every single day to be working with kids with special needs at a therapy center in the metropolis [after a whirlwind of serious decision-making]. I am wonderfully blessed to be living my dream of being a catalyst for good change and a positive influence in society. Moreover, I couldn't have asked for a more supportive family and circle of friends.

I am eternally thankful because when God found me, He not only helped me find Him - He also helped me find me.

Hello and Goodbye

"Be kind,

for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Plato

Greek author & philosopher in Athens (427 BC - 347 BC)

There have been some chapters in my life when I've said goodbye to people just as quickly as I've said hello. While the paths have crossed so quickly, there's no guarantee that farewells would come easily.

Several times I have asked the question, "Where's the good in goodbye?", because goodbyes are usually associated with uncertainty, separation, hurt, and sorrow.

More often than not I find myself saying "See you tomorrow", "Until then", or "'Til next time" when the moment of parting ways has come because it somehow lessens the impact of something's coming-to-an-end. It is a sort-of denial of the moment of truth when each one must go his or her own way.

Celine Dion's song "Goodbye's (The Saddest Word)" is about a mother leaving her child, perhaps even pertaining to the mother's passing away, which is one of the hardest goodbyes of all. Listening to it always brings tears to my eyes.

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

'Till we meet again...
Until then...
Goodbye

Still, where is the good in goodbye?

Today is one of those days when I ask the question once, twice, three times because I had had to say goodbye to this precious little boy who has seemingly taught me more than I have taught him. It was difficult to see him go and accept the fact that that moment might be last time we will ever see each other, especially when I know I could have done something more to help him.

Out of the blanket of sadness, a friend's voice popped in my head. He shared to me an initially trivial information about 'goodbye' and just to make sure I remember it right, I searched the world wide web for it:

good-bye XVI. Early forms God be wy you, God buy'ye, God b'uy, Godbuy, contr. of phr. God be with you or ye, with later substitution of good for God, after good day (XIII), good night (XIV).

T. F. HOAD. "good-bye." The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology. 1996. Retrieved October 18, 2009 from Encyclopedia.com: http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O27-goodbye.html

That's right. Goodbye is derived from God be with you. When I first heard it, I was almost skeptical but it totally blew me away.

So where is the good in goodbye?

It is in believing that God is with those kindred souls whose lives have been touched by that meeting of theirs even though they eventually have to part.

Now that I understand this more clearly, I have to keep it in mind and eventually in my heart, no matter how much it hurts sometimes.

God be with you.

Feed the Need

The aftermath of typhoon Ondoy led to various relief operations by both government and private sectors. The severity of the damage caused by the heavy rainfall last weekend still prevails today even with typhoon Pepeng (Parma) and typhoon Quedan (Melor) already within Philippine territory.

Calls for volunteers to help repack relief goods like canned food, instant noodles, rice, blankets, clothes, medicines, and bottled water were abundant to which many people wholeheartedly acted upon.

Yesterday, I met with friends from UST at TriNoMa between 10:30-11:00 am to help out in distributing relief goods to victims of typhoon Ondoy in the area of Pasig.

I was still undecided whether or not to join come the day itself. By nine o'clock in the morning, I began preparing for the relief operations albeit I knew it subconsciously because half of me wanted so badly to help out and half of me wanted to stay home as advised by my dad since typhoon Pepeng was reported to be hitting land by late Friday.

At fifteen minutes to ten o'clock, I left our condo unit all geared up for the mission ahead while the voice of the news reporter and other sounds from the television lingered in my ears. I rode a taxi going to Magallanes station of the MRT to make up for lost time but unfortunately, I was still met by heavy traffic along Chino Roces Avenue (Pasong Tamo Extension). I wasn't usually late for appointments. In fact, I don't like being late. However, the tug-o-war within me was simply taking a toll on my decision-making but, apparently, an inner calling prevailed.

There wasn't a single drop of regret when I have forsaken the safety of home to the risk of possibly endangering my life under such circumstances. It was a day I'll never forget.

The experience of riding inside a cargo truck on top of hundreds of relief goods on our way to Pasig was truly a concrete way of "putting oneself in other people's shoes" or as Vanessa Williams' song Colors of the Wind goes, "If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew, you never knew."

As the saying goes, 'Mahirap maging mahirap' (It is difficult to be poor). And how hard it must be! To see those people - young and old, men and women alike - struggling, no, begging for food will break one's heart to a million little pieces. They did not chose to be poor. Most of them were born poor... but a lot of times I wonder why majority of them chose to remain poor.

You might be thinking, "Surely you're not asking why. You know already know the answer/s to that question." Perhaps. But do I really? I can't say that I know what it's like to live in poverty because I haven't been there. On the other hand, I can say I do know why and refer to all the studies and resources supporting my claims. Technically speaking, there's a scientific/economic explanation for such queries. But then moments after, Ubuntu in African spirituality suddenly came to mind: "I am because of who we all are."

The truth is - the majority poor of our country is both part and product of the society we all belong to. They are who they are because of who I am, who the rest of us are.

Unsurprisingly, the outreach that day to 'feed the need' went both ways: the flood victims' physical needs were met while the volunteers' psychological/philosophical hunger was fed. The encounter with those people who were affected by the heavy floods gave me fraction of understanding, a glimpse into the dynamics of their lives, that I hope will push me more to be a better part of the whole.

I Speak

I love a good conversation any time of the day. :)

Created after God's own image and likeness, man is the only creature in this planet that can make beautiful communication through words. Isn't that amazing? So why not put it to good use every day?

This week, I had very many interesting dialogues between friends, colleagues, and people that I have met for the first time. We talked about ideas and things that ranged from the most banal to the most philosophical, from the most real to the most surreal, and from the most practical to the most ideal.

After spending time in conversation with two different groups of people during two different nights recently, a realization occurred to me: 'We usually hate what we don't understand'. Hate might be too strong of a term but I think not understanding something illicits such an intense feeling of dislike in us more often than not. Afterall, man is a rational being. When something just doesn't make sense, it seems but natural for man to be frustrated and angry about it.

Fruitful conversations have opened my understanding of the world and life more besides my own personal experiences and reflections. It has also brought to my awareness the limitation of that understanding. And this is where the challenge comes in.

You see, the problem is that we always seek to know even if we are strongly aware that we are not all-knowing. God alone is omniscient.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

-Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV)

When life seems to go awry beyond what our minds can conceive, God does not demand that we understand - that we make sense of it with a snap of the fingers. He only asks us to do what we can, with what we have and what we know... and all He asks for is our unrelenting faith in Him. When what's happening doesn't add up or doesn't make sense to you, perhaps it is an opportunity to pray for strength and courage to continue and the opportunity to let go of The Great WHY? into His hands.

And you know what? Sometimes, when you're talking to someone about something they don't understand - you find your own understanding in their confusion. All that was needed was another person's perspective. Surely, for all of us, God's point-of-view is the best there is. :)

ROY G BIV

I am fascinated with colors. They play an important part in our world and in our lives.

Arts and crafts make careful use of color combinations. Fashion revolves largely on the play of colors. Even black and white television slowly turned technicolor. Just look around you; Mother Nature surely do a great job of making sure mankind is bathe in its brilliant hues.

The color fever eventually got to me. When I was a little kid, a box of eight colors simply wasn't enough:

Crayola crayons have come in a number of different colors over the years. When Binney & Smith first produced Crayola crayons in 1903, there were just eight colors. By 1949 there were 48 colors. In 1958 the number of colors increased to 64. Eight fluorescent colors were introduced in 1972, increasing the total number of colors to 72. In 1990 the total increased to 80 colors with the introduction of 16 new colors and the discontinuation of eight colors. The number of available colors was increased to 96 in 1993 and to 120 in 1998, though with thirteen crayons being retired along the way, the grand total of colors is 133. Along with the regular packs of crayons, there have been many specialty sets, including Silver Swirls, Gem Tones, Pearl Brite, Metallic FX, Magic Scent, Silly Scents, and more...

Source: Wikipedia - List of Crayola crayon colors

Besides the fact that they are vibrant eye candy, colors are very closely associated with human expressions, feelings and behavior: Black is used as a sign of mourning, red can mean anger or war or boldness, yellow can indicate happiness and zest, blue exhibits calmness and relaxation, and so on.

Lately, I've been doing much coloring on birthday banners for kids at the center where I work, which led me to do a bit more pondering than usual. I've come to a conclusion that life is very much like having a palette of colors...

* We may have been handed only three colors but it is upto us if we stick to just three or to try and mix them to come up with more.

* The way we understand life is like a child coloring a fantastic drawing - we start coloring using only one crayon and go beyond the lines. However, when we grow up, we soon learn that we must use more than one kind of crayon and color within the boundaries to make the picture more beautiful.

* There is balance among colors. Green comes between warm and cold hues. (See P.S. of my Green Generation post)

* Color is for everybody although some may prefer crayons over watercolor, paint, colored pens/pencils, or oil pastels. People use different ways to express themselves.

* Black, like sin, absorbs other colors - the lovely things in life.

* Color derives from a spectrum of light interacting in the eye. To make an analogy, what becomes of life is like the interaction between God and man.

* People color with different intensities, just like the way they approach life.

"The color of the object illuminated partakes of the color of that which illuminates it."

- Leonardo da Vinci

Pen and paper

I seem to write less and less as the years go by. I used to have so much time to jot down the details of what transpired during the day every day. But now the days turn to weeks, weeks to months and months to years.

Not that I'm complaining.

I still have the same 24-hour day like everybody else. It's just that more important things have taken over the time I used to dedicate to my diary writing.

I realized at some point during my mid-teens that it's much better that I live the moment to the fullest and share the time wholly with the people I'm with rather than soak in that instance to later on busy myself writing it down for no one in particular - one who can't even fully appreciate the importance of the events/connections that transpired. It is very similar to taking a picture wherein the photographer was too busy thinking about the perfect conditions for a brilliant capture that the glory of the moment already eluded him.

Writing in my diary has been (and still is at very certain occasions) a good outlet for me.

The big difference now, however, is this: In the past I used to write down my story, now I write down what God wants my story to be like.

"It is such an amazing feat to hear the resounding voices captured by the silence of words on a piece of paper even after inches of dust has accumulated on the pages with the passing of time."

I have more than 20 diaries to date and I am thankful for each one. When I have the chance to scan through them, I see how much I've changed and grown through the years. I can't help but burst into laughter, feel funny, hold back tears, and shake my head in disbelief over some of the things I wrote down in the now yellowing pages of my journals.

More often that not, I also feel like I'm reading about the life of someone else.

There was a time I thought of burning all of these diaries. One day I just felt that the person I am now doesn't want anything more to do with the person I was then. The present self regarded the past person as a complete stranger.

However, I realized later on that even if I did let fire consume those notebooks, God still has a record of all that I wrote down. He knows everything about me and everything that happened (and will happen) in my life - written or unwritten by me.

Truly, one must be aware of how he is living his life.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it."

-Matthew 7:13

So I say, "let Thy will be done in my life."

Handwritten

I love writing.

I write about anything that comes into mind - anything under the sun or beyond it.

I started writing poetry at a very young age. When I was in elementary, I joined the school paper and became part of it until I was in high school. During college, I would frequently contribute feature articles to different publications. I have also been maintaining a blog since I discovered the world of online journals. But more than anything else, I particularly love writing letters.

I looked up the word history of write and I found this:

Every western Indo-European language except English derives its verb for “to write” from Latin scrībere: écrire in French, escribir in Spanish, scrivere in Italian, scribaim in Old Irish, ysgrifennuin Welsh, skriva in Breton, skrifa in Old Norse, skrive in Danish and Norwegian, skriva in Swedish, schreiben in German, schrijven in Dutch. The Old English verb “to write” is wrītan, from a Germanic root *writ– that derives from an Indo-European root *wreid– meaning “to cut, scratch, tear, sketch an outline.” German still retains this meaning in its cognate verb reissen, “to tear.” Only Old English employed wrītan to refer to writing, that is, scratching on parchment with a pen. English shows a similar contrariness in its verb read, being almost the only western European language not to derive its verb for that concept from Latin legere.

To write. To tear. To scratch. To cut.

Ahhh, I see.

Now it makes more sense why whenever I write, I somehow get a glimpse of what it feels like to "dig deep into the soul". Facing a blank page is always a struggle. For me, it takes a lot of effort to make the first mark and get going.

There are times when I find it very difficult to write about the things I want to share (especially in English since it is not my native language). I can't seem to find the right words to use. I can't seem to organize my thoughts into creative and witty paragraphs. With pen and paper at hand, I sometimes appear to have only perfection in mind when I should be asking myself, "What do I want to let my reader/s know and why?". Then I can worry about the rest later.

Pen. Paper. Perfection. Purpose.

Makes more sense to me.

P.S.

About that snail mail, where's that card I bought...

Standing firm

"How difficult it is to be simple."

– Vincent Van Gogh

Living Sacrifices

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

- Romans 12:1-8 (NIV)

Green generation

A belated EARTH DAY post.

Yes, I know.

Earth Day was on April 22nd.

Better late than never, I say. :)

My most intimate moments with Mother Earth began when I was a little girl. I became fascinated with fireflies and stars at a young age. When night settles in, my siblings and I would go out to the vacant lot at the end of our street to watch the bushy place come alive with tiny littly dots of light turning on and off. They were like miniature stars floating on Earth while the really big ones sparkled up in the sky.

Now, fireflies seem to have become a figment of my imagination. Something terribly wrong has been happening in the past 15 years (and beyond). I hear Mother Earth's cries for help louder than ever. I am not about to turn a deaf ear.

My concrete, directional actions in extending a helping hand to save Mother Earth began in college when I joined an environmental advocacy group, EARTH-UST. It became my first university family during my freshman year and the people I met there remain close to my heart. I haven't been active with all the projects of the group or the organizations they tie up with since I was occupied with my chosen field of career but I try my best to apply and practice the things I have learned from EARTH. My experience there became the foundation of my principles regarding environmentalism. Awareness and action definitely became two striking words in my dictionary.

Before this year's Earth Day celebration, I have joined #earthtweet on Twitter in their campaign to raise awareness on many environmental issues and eco-friendly practices. Even with Earth Day over two months ago, I am currently following several other organizations and campaigns with a similar cause.

Moreover, I took the Power Down for the Planet pledge with Climate Savers Computing 'to use power management on your PC and select an energy-efficient PC for your next purchase will help minimize wasted electricity and reduce harmful greenhouse gas emissions.' I also joined the 350 Challenge by Brighter Planet, where they offset 350 pounds of carbon in your name.

This month, I have started to be more supportive of eco-markets as well where I buy organic products such as soap and shampoo. My dad and I went to one in Market! Market! just a few hours ago.

While these are the things I contribute in order to do my part in saving our finite planet for the generations to come, I am still blown away by the fact that lots of other people are also doing the same and much more. Which now brings me to what I think this is the most important thing that I can share with you today.

I have recently come across The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard and watching the 20-minute video really moved me to let as many people as I can reach out to know and understand the message contained in it. I strongly encourage you to watch the trailer below, go to the website, and watch "The Story of Stuff".

Besides the three Rs to a greener planet: reduce, reuse and recycle - I challenge you to live out two Rs that are extremely crucial in today's consumerism-minded society: RETHINK and REFUSE.

Let's fight the green battle!

P.S.

In an art therapy seminar that I attended last month, I discovered that green is the color of balance. How do I prove it? On a bond paper, place two strips of black paper one above the other (like and equal sign) with some white space in between the two. View the papers through a prism. Observe the colors around each strip of black paper. Then, while still looking through the prism, slowly bring the two black strips of paper together, eliminating the white space in between. Look closely. What do you see?

I think

Common sense, I realized, is fast becoming uncommon.

With the information superhighway merely a click away, typing into a search engine is seemingly becoming easier for some people more than putting on their thinking caps and letting it do its work. It's a shame. The internet is supposed to be a means to enhance our selves, not a tool to replace a God-given gift.

Cogito ergo sum. 

"I think, therefore I am." 

- Rene Descartes

It will truly be devastating if, someday, one would say, "I think NOT, therefore I am NOT" for the denial of an aspect of the self is in many ways a denial of God whose image and likeness we were created from.

What do you think?