Pen and paper

I seem to write less and less as the years go by. I used to have so much time to jot down the details of what transpired during the day every day. But now the days turn to weeks, weeks to months and months to years.

Not that I'm complaining.

I still have the same 24-hour day like everybody else. It's just that more important things have taken over the time I used to dedicate to my diary writing.

I realized at some point during my mid-teens that it's much better that I live the moment to the fullest and share the time wholly with the people I'm with rather than soak in that instance to later on busy myself writing it down for no one in particular - one who can't even fully appreciate the importance of the events/connections that transpired. It is very similar to taking a picture wherein the photographer was too busy thinking about the perfect conditions for a brilliant capture that the glory of the moment already eluded him.

Writing in my diary has been (and still is at very certain occasions) a good outlet for me.

The big difference now, however, is this: In the past I used to write down my story, now I write down what God wants my story to be like.

"It is such an amazing feat to hear the resounding voices captured by the silence of words on a piece of paper even after inches of dust has accumulated on the pages with the passing of time."

I have more than 20 diaries to date and I am thankful for each one. When I have the chance to scan through them, I see how much I've changed and grown through the years. I can't help but burst into laughter, feel funny, hold back tears, and shake my head in disbelief over some of the things I wrote down in the now yellowing pages of my journals.

More often that not, I also feel like I'm reading about the life of someone else.

There was a time I thought of burning all of these diaries. One day I just felt that the person I am now doesn't want anything more to do with the person I was then. The present self regarded the past person as a complete stranger.

However, I realized later on that even if I did let fire consume those notebooks, God still has a record of all that I wrote down. He knows everything about me and everything that happened (and will happen) in my life - written or unwritten by me.

Truly, one must be aware of how he is living his life.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it."

-Matthew 7:13

So I say, "let Thy will be done in my life."